Had a quiet moment after bedtime while Nick prepares for worship team in the morning, so I thought I'd write.
Audrey is amazing us with her improvement already. It is obvious this is something she's been needing. She happily sat at the dinner table and ate her soup tonight! It had tons of different veggies, and she actually used her spoon and ate about half of what I gave her without a single complaint. I'm amazed, really. She has been my picky eater since she was 2. She's now finishing more food than Hannah, before Hannah is finished, with a terrific attitude. Incredible, already.
Hannah is struggling more. We have suspected some sort of fungal or bacterial problem in her gut for awhile (based on things I have read about her specific symptoms), and die-off reactions for her have been hard. She seems depressed. When I told her tonight we were having soup for dinner, she cried. Then she picked up her doll, went upstairs, put on her pajamas and put herself to bed at like 6pm. Nick went upstairs and asked her if she wanted to eat dinner and play a game together afterward and she woke up, but she was still pretty sad through dinner. She regularly tells me, "Why do you have to make this so hard?" Pretty tough. I know we will sooner or later see some breakthrough with her. I sure hope it's sooner.
I received the Gaps Guide book and a GAPS recipe book in the mail today, and though they will be terribly helpful to have, they do not, as I hoped, offer any quicker way to healing. The only way to start adding in foods is to hang out until your system heals. For us, that is currently at intro stage two. The girls and I seem to tolerate some almond butter, but ghee and egg are a no for now. Even avocado seems to cause some gas in all of us - something we had been eating several times a week, even every day. No wonder we haven't been feeling good!
Honestly, it's a little hard to wait for healing, but this experience is also rather freeing to me. I fall back to the way I felt when I learned I needed to be gluten free. I finally know what I need to do to feel good. Who cares what I can't eat? I can actually function! That really is the way I'm feeling about it. As soon as we have a little money I want to buy some Thermoses so we can bring our soup with us when we go out. That will give us a little more freedom than we currently have. We live 20 minutes from town, so by the time we drive into town to do something, we're hungry again. It's hard to bring this kind of food with you without a Thermos. I'm looking forward to the day when my die-off reaction stops and I get to feel like myself again. And in the meantime, I get to eat this warm, nourishing, simple, comforting food.
I kept looking around me at our children today, at Tess as she slept in my arms this afternoon, and getting teary. I love our kids so much, and we finally have hope again.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Focus Shift
One of the things that kept me from doing GAPS for the past year, is that I didn't want our life to get centered around food. Food is a means to an end, not something life should center around. I think it's great to enjoy food, to eat things that taste good, and to eat food that nourishes your body - whatever that means for you. But it is so easy for me to become obsessed with it. And then I start seeing that same obsession in my kids.
The past few years have been a hard road food-wise. But a conversation with our kids last night left me in awe of how much we have been focused on food as a family. This is hard to explain. Basically, my kids expressed that they think about food constantly, and that it's distracting to them even when they're trying to play. They worry about it constantly. And I can't help but think this is a reflection on Nick and me and the way we treat food.
So...all that to say, we're still doing GAPS, but I thought I would want to spend lots of time updating this blog and sharing our experience. I'm realizing that's not a good use of my time. If you're curious about how we're doing I'd love to chat about it. And I'll still post updates, but not every day. Ultimately, my goal with this silly diet is to spend LESS time thinking about food. As little as we can get away with. There is so much more to life, so many other interesting things to think about and do. I enjoy cooking, but I don't want to spend my whole life doing that. I have three children who need my attention, and I also have other things God has called me to do with my life.
So there it is, my rambling, somewhat brain foggy explanation of what I'm thinking. :)
That said, our juicer, GAPS Guide, and Internal Bliss cookbook arrive today. :)
The past few years have been a hard road food-wise. But a conversation with our kids last night left me in awe of how much we have been focused on food as a family. This is hard to explain. Basically, my kids expressed that they think about food constantly, and that it's distracting to them even when they're trying to play. They worry about it constantly. And I can't help but think this is a reflection on Nick and me and the way we treat food.
So...all that to say, we're still doing GAPS, but I thought I would want to spend lots of time updating this blog and sharing our experience. I'm realizing that's not a good use of my time. If you're curious about how we're doing I'd love to chat about it. And I'll still post updates, but not every day. Ultimately, my goal with this silly diet is to spend LESS time thinking about food. As little as we can get away with. There is so much more to life, so many other interesting things to think about and do. I enjoy cooking, but I don't want to spend my whole life doing that. I have three children who need my attention, and I also have other things God has called me to do with my life.
So there it is, my rambling, somewhat brain foggy explanation of what I'm thinking. :)
That said, our juicer, GAPS Guide, and Internal Bliss cookbook arrive today. :)
Candida Test
Ever wondered if candida overgrowth might be affecting your health? Here's a pretty interesting test to see. And...I'm not gonna say what my score was. Let's just say I need to be doing GAPS. ;)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Report
Certain things are getting easier, thank goodness! The kids are eating easier, and I'm adjusting to the differences in cooking. I have about three loads of dishes a day when I keep up with it. The prep time is similar to what I had been doing - lots of time in the kitchen. For the first time since we got married, we moved the only working microwave out to the garage last week. That way I'm not tempted to use it even for the couple times a week that I was!
Today I got so tired mid-morning. It took everything I had to put Tess to bed, and I went and got in my bed and fell asleep. Hannah and Audrey came in there with me. They didn't know quite what to think. It's got to be die off because right before that I had some coconut kefir and was feeling ok, then it hit me. I just feel like I could sleep around the clock. I'm very weak and sleepy and foggy.
Hannah keeps telling me her stomach hurts and her throat is itchy. It's been about four days of that.
Audrey has had a boil of some kind on her ankle. It's been there several weeks, but it's suddenly coming to the surface. I don't know if something got into it while her skin was sore, or if she got bit by something, or if it's some sort of toxin release. One great thing is that she's been able to eat the past couple of days. She has beaten Hannah at finishing the past two nights. That has never happened in her life. Her stomach acid must be improving. Nick and I have needed less HCL the past two days too.
Today I got so tired mid-morning. It took everything I had to put Tess to bed, and I went and got in my bed and fell asleep. Hannah and Audrey came in there with me. They didn't know quite what to think. It's got to be die off because right before that I had some coconut kefir and was feeling ok, then it hit me. I just feel like I could sleep around the clock. I'm very weak and sleepy and foggy.
Hannah keeps telling me her stomach hurts and her throat is itchy. It's been about four days of that.
Audrey has had a boil of some kind on her ankle. It's been there several weeks, but it's suddenly coming to the surface. I don't know if something got into it while her skin was sore, or if she got bit by something, or if it's some sort of toxin release. One great thing is that she's been able to eat the past couple of days. She has beaten Hannah at finishing the past two nights. That has never happened in her life. Her stomach acid must be improving. Nick and I have needed less HCL the past two days too.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
His Mercies are New...
Aren't you glad that His mercies are new every morning? No matter how tired and discouraged you are at night, things always look just a bit better in the morning.
I woke up feeling good, no trace of stomach pain. Tess is still having diarrhea. We had an easy breakfast of beef sausage poached in broth, acorn squash and broth to drink. The kids seem to be adjusting some. There were complaints about the broth this morning (mostly related to the fat that accumulates on the top), but they both drank it all and both got a "cookie." (Made from almond flour, almond butter, coconut oil and salt, nothing else). These are crumbly and not even sweet, but for some reason they motivate the girls right now. Day one with no fruit.
We are going to get out in the nice warm weather today and think about something other than food. Should make the day easier. Part of the issue yesterday is Nick had to teach guitar all evening so we were on our own almost until bedtime - very long day for all of us. Today will be much better!
I woke up feeling good, no trace of stomach pain. Tess is still having diarrhea. We had an easy breakfast of beef sausage poached in broth, acorn squash and broth to drink. The kids seem to be adjusting some. There were complaints about the broth this morning (mostly related to the fat that accumulates on the top), but they both drank it all and both got a "cookie." (Made from almond flour, almond butter, coconut oil and salt, nothing else). These are crumbly and not even sweet, but for some reason they motivate the girls right now. Day one with no fruit.
We are going to get out in the nice warm weather today and think about something other than food. Should make the day easier. Part of the issue yesterday is Nick had to teach guitar all evening so we were on our own almost until bedtime - very long day for all of us. Today will be much better!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Report
Me: took the intro of either avocado or nuts too quickly and have a terrible stomach ache tonight. I put away the rest of the dried fruit tonight and we're starting this for real in the morning. I'm not exaggerating: if I can just feel good, I will eat nothing but soup for the rest of my life. I am that tired of feeling sick. I am going to do this for real.
Hannah: hasn't had a BM for 2-3 days. According to the book, it's time to pull out the enema kit. Um...yeah. I don't feel prepared for that at all. She is always on the other end of that spectrum, so I know it's working. Constipation means die off usually. I'm hoping she'll just go tomorrow.
Audrey: cried all day. And I do mean ALL DAY. I don't know what else to say about that.
Tess: diarrhea day two. Tonight I fed her only ground chicken mixed with broth. I'll do that until it calms down.
I called my mom and brainstormed with her for quite awhile this afternoon. She's helping me buy the Gaps Guide and a cookbook called Internal Bliss. They should be here by the weekend. Need some recipes and help troubleshooting to do this well.
Pretty fried tonight. I keep hoping this will start going a little smoother. I think we're on to something, I just need to hang on.
Hannah: hasn't had a BM for 2-3 days. According to the book, it's time to pull out the enema kit. Um...yeah. I don't feel prepared for that at all. She is always on the other end of that spectrum, so I know it's working. Constipation means die off usually. I'm hoping she'll just go tomorrow.
Audrey: cried all day. And I do mean ALL DAY. I don't know what else to say about that.
Tess: diarrhea day two. Tonight I fed her only ground chicken mixed with broth. I'll do that until it calms down.
I called my mom and brainstormed with her for quite awhile this afternoon. She's helping me buy the Gaps Guide and a cookbook called Internal Bliss. They should be here by the weekend. Need some recipes and help troubleshooting to do this well.
Pretty fried tonight. I keep hoping this will start going a little smoother. I think we're on to something, I just need to hang on.
Eggs with a side of whine
I'm feeling cranky today, just thought I'd warn ya.
Why are things so hard for us to digest, eggs being a big one? They seem so simple, so natural. People have been eating eggs for thousands of years. I'm able to get the best eggs available - the chickens can roam around and eat bugs, they aren't fed soy. And still, it hurt my stomach SO badly when I tried egg yolk the other day.
I am fairly convinced that my issue yesterday was the ground flax I added to the pancakes to...substitute for egg. I'm trying gelatin as a substitute in a pancake recipe today, but the problem is that most people on this diet make recipes using lots of eggs because they are a source of protein, and it gets them out of having to eat soup AGAIN. Loads of gelatin in a recipe is just not going to taste good.
Nick has been fine with egg all along, and is able to scramble eggs for himself in the mornings. I need to try Audrey on them because I think she may do ok, but she had diarrhea this morning, I suspect from the flax. So that's a project for another day.
The thing that has always kept me away from doing this diet in the first place, is the tendency of people on it to become so obsessed, so dominated by thoughts of food. Food is not enough of a reason for me to get up in the morning. Certainly not simple food like this, and yet you become tied to it because of the learning curve, and because when you eat simply you are hungry often.
I gotta go think about something else.
Why are things so hard for us to digest, eggs being a big one? They seem so simple, so natural. People have been eating eggs for thousands of years. I'm able to get the best eggs available - the chickens can roam around and eat bugs, they aren't fed soy. And still, it hurt my stomach SO badly when I tried egg yolk the other day.
I am fairly convinced that my issue yesterday was the ground flax I added to the pancakes to...substitute for egg. I'm trying gelatin as a substitute in a pancake recipe today, but the problem is that most people on this diet make recipes using lots of eggs because they are a source of protein, and it gets them out of having to eat soup AGAIN. Loads of gelatin in a recipe is just not going to taste good.
Nick has been fine with egg all along, and is able to scramble eggs for himself in the mornings. I need to try Audrey on them because I think she may do ok, but she had diarrhea this morning, I suspect from the flax. So that's a project for another day.
The thing that has always kept me away from doing this diet in the first place, is the tendency of people on it to become so obsessed, so dominated by thoughts of food. Food is not enough of a reason for me to get up in the morning. Certainly not simple food like this, and yet you become tied to it because of the learning curve, and because when you eat simply you are hungry often.
I gotta go think about something else.
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