Thursday, March 31, 2011


Lately, I can totally tell when I'm eating something that isn't working. My stomach hurts and my mood goes down the drain. If it's just die off, I seem to be able to do anything I want, but just feel tired. So amazing how much our moods are affected by what we eat.

Feeling a bit stuck today. Nothing seems to be working for me but meat, veggies and broth.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Getting Answers

It's amazing sometimes how quickly answers come when you pray through questions...

I went back to egg yolk only this morning, and so far I'm feeling good. That just seems so weird, to be able to tolerate one part of the egg but not the other, but any movement forward is progress!

We got the answer to Hannah's huge appetite through this post yesterday. For now, I'm going to try to feed her as much as she asks for, with a cheerful heart. If it doesn't level off in the next week or two we will consider other problems/solutions. I was realizing freshly this morning how much we need to do this diet. Hannah was just excited to eat, and happily talking about what she was going to have, and I found myself cringing. There's nothing wrong with her enjoying food and being excited about what she gets to eat. That's the whole goal here. And yet we have gone so long with so many food issues that anything they enjoyed usually made them sick. It doesn't have to be like that anymore. I can feed my children healthy food that they get deep enjoyment from, and not worry about it. That is freedom!

Another thought, while I'm on a philosophical note: The less we think about food, the happier we are right now. We've been in survival mode for a long time around here. We've been very inward focused, by necessity. But we are sensing God calling us into a new season of reaching out around us. I'm starting a playgroup and rejoining the worship team after a three month break. At its root, food is just fuel for living. It can be enjoyable to eat, but ultimately living has so much more to do with relationships and serving God and other people. Food is a very small part of it. We use food for entertainment far too often. I have learned this lesson before, during other cleanses I've done, but our culture pulls us away from this truth rather quickly. There is something special about sharing food with other people though, and that is something that we have longed to be able to do. Doing this diet will hopefully enable us ultimately to eat dinner with friends again, without worrying.

Monday, March 28, 2011


There are several things going on for which I have no answers right now. Here's a peek into my "journal" of thoughts for today:

The egg didn't work for me. I had one soft boiled egg at breakfast and had almost immediate diarrhea. I think I prefer that to the dizziness. So we step back. I'm determined not to get discouraged about that. It's obvious that healing is taking place and things are changing. I'm not sure whether to pull egg entirely, or to try just egg yolk tomorrow. Many people can tolerate egg yolk but not white. As much as I dread feeling badly if it doesn't work, I think I will attempt yolk tomorrow. I'll know within a day or two if it works, and then I can move on. Audrey has done great with soft boiled eggs, which I'm happy about and so is she!

I was craving almond butter SO badly this afternoon, so I allowed myself a spoonful. I haven't had any in a few weeks. It is two steps away still, after ghee and avocado.

We have had multiple arguments over drinking broth this week. I'm so tired of those. At lunch today, rather than allowing her to pour it into a sippy cup and walk around with it (which has been ending in sippy cups with three inches of cold broth left in the living room), I required Audrey to sit at the table while she finished. She was very sad about it, and I was compassionate but firm with her. She likes to play around at the table until everyone is done eating, and then gets very sad about being left at the table to finish. I don't know how to handle this except to let natural consequences teach her to eat while people are there. It's very hard for me to make her sit there alone, and I often sit with her. But I can't always do that. This too shall pass, but I'm a little sad and weary of the fight today.

Hannah has her own struggles. She is hungry, or at least says she is, all the time. Still. I keep hoping this will stop. They say that the first 6-8 weeks are like that and then it levels off. The rest of us seem to have settled down appetite-wise. The thing that makes it hard with her, is she's always been like that. As a baby, she used to eat 3 jars of baby food and then vomit because her stomach was too full. I always thought it was related to her gluten intolerance, but now I think it might just be habit. It's very frustrating for us to have just finished a meal, gotten it cleaned up, and she's already back at my elbow asking for more food. Is it boredom? Could she possibly get hungry again that quickly? Should I kindly tell her that she's had enough or let her gorge herself? How do these issues affect her as she grows up? I so want her to have a healthy perspective on food and her weight, etc. I am so careful not to make comments about gaining weight or anything along those lines. It's always about whether her tummy is full or not. But it never. gets. full. Also, every night when we put her to bed, she says her tummy hurts, and sometimes she says she needs to throw up but never does. This is eerie to me, because I went through a phase at about her age where I was terrified of throwing up, and had panic attacks related to thinking I was going to throw up every night. We thought it was related to a child in our church dying of meningitis, but I can't help but wonder if our fears are completely related and due to some deficiency, or genetic response to...something... That kind of psychological issue is probably a GAPS issue anyway, so even if I don't understand it the diet will address it. But still, eerie. And could it be because her stomach is too full, or too empty, or...?

Audrey has been amazing me with her ability to eat salicylates when taking No-Fenol. Her legs were very sore with reintroducing salicylates, and after a week on the enzymes she is healing up! Hannah's potty accidents have also dropped off on No-Fenol, which is pretty exciting. Those are not a long-term solution, but the diet is that long-term solution. Now we also have a short-term solution. Thank God.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


Never a dull moment...

Yesterday and today, we had soft boiled eggs at breakfast. Yesterday I had a brief time when I felt faint but it passed quickly. Today I got maybe too brave and tried two of them. About 30 minutes later I was taking a shower and got so dizzy I had to sit down. After a couple minutes it got better so I finished my shower. My head felt like one of those toy balls that is a ball-inside-a-ball, and the inside ball rolls around. An hour or so later I was fine. At the same time I had a little stomach discomfort then it too went away. Tonight I feel weak and tired but not sick like this morning.

What in the world was that? My tendency is to think detox/die off reaction, but it will take a couple more days to know for sure. My reaction to eggs has been completely different each of the 3 times I have tried them. I went from diarrhea 3 hours later, to painful gas, to this weird dizziness thing. Seems like the reaction is improving, not growing worse, since I'm not having digestive problems. Though I'm not a huge fan of feeling yucky, it seems like my only choice is to keep trying egg every day until it either gets better or worse.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Eggs again

Soft boiled eggs for breakfast this morning, for everyone except Hannah, who seems to need a little more time with the broth and probiotics for now. And good results all around! I can hardly believe this. :) We will retry Hannah on egg next week. She was pretty sad about her symptoms, but maybe by talking with her about it some, she will be more motivated with drinking her broth/eating soups. She still seems to be struggling with those some. Usually her complaints are related to the fat that accumulates on the top of the broth. The longer we go on the diet, the more that fat is comforting and tasty to me. It seems like I can actually feel it stabilizing my blood sugar. After spending so much of my life getting shaky and nauseous between meals, stable blood sugar feels so good!

In other news, finished yet another batch of homemade sauerkraut that I do not like the taste/smell of. Going to have to either buy sauerkraut from, or enlist the help of my friend Dawn. Thankfully, she is starting classes on fermentation soon! I am lacking some of the equipment that is recommended in making sauerkraut and I think I must not be getting enough liquid out of the cabbage to keep it covered and safe from the pesky critters in the air. At least that's my guess.

We can do this

Friday, March 25, 2011


Braised Short Ribs and mashed cauliflower on the menu for tonight. Yum.

Colonizing Baby's Digestive Tract

From the Custom Probiotics website:

Another factor affecting the intestinal flora of the newborn is delivery mode. A normal vaginal delivery commonly permits transfer of bacteria from the mother to the infant. During cesarean deliveries, this transfer is completely absent. These infants commonly acquire and are colonized with flora from the hospital's environment and, therefore, their flora may differ from maternal flora. Infants delivered by cesarean section are colonized with more anaerobic bacteria, especially Bacteroides, than vaginally delivered infants. Clostridium perfringens is the anaerobic bacterium most frequently isolated after cesarean deliveries. When colonized, cesarean delivered infants less frequently harbor E. coli, and more often klebsiella and enterobacteria(7).

The initial colonizing bacteria vary with the food source of the infant. In breast-fed infants, Bifidobacteria account for more than 90% of the total intestinal bacteria. The low concentration of protein in human milk, the presence of specific anti-infective proteins such as immunoglobulin A, lactoferrin, lysozyme, and oligosacharides (prebiotics), as well as production of lactic acid, cause an acid milieu and are the main reasons for its bifidogenic charachtersitics. In bottle-fed infants, Bifidobacteria are not predominant(13). Instead enterobacteria and gram-negative organisms dominate because of a more alkaline milieu and the absence of the prebiotic modulatory factors present in breast milk.

Colonized with the bacteria from the hospital? YUCK! This is of particular interest to me since Hannah was a c-section baby.


We did another trial of eggs yesterday morning. And, for me, NOTHING HAPPENED. I can hardly believe it, considering how sick they made me just a couple of weeks ago. And yet, I'm about 30 minutes from the 24 hour mark with no noticeable symptoms. The girls still struggled a bit, but not as bad as it's been. We have been trying a new breakfast with Daddy schedule that has made it difficult to find a time to give their probiotics before breakfast, so I suspect that's what would cause them to still struggle. I'll get on top of that, and in a couple days they will be fine too, I bet!

To me, this feels like the first big success with this diet. I have been more or less off eggs for 4 years. I'm grateful that Audrey is eating better, and Nick is feeling good and happy with his weight, but the real motivator in doing this for me has been the food intolerances.

Up till this week, my head has been in this but not my heart. I've been frustrated with the fact that we even needed to do it. The longer we go, the more my heart becomes engaged in it too. We can get well. This diet is a blessing, not a curse!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Freshly rendered tallow

Tess and Sauerkraut

Keeping thinking of things to post today!

Tess LOVES sauerkraut. It cracks me up. I never think to give her any because it just...doesn't seem like baby food. But I'll be handing it out to everybody else (they love it too), and she points and demands some and then eats it right up! SO funny. :)


For those of you who are asking me for more info on GAPS:

I highly recommend getting the GAPS book, along with GAPS guide and the Internal Bliss cookbook. It'll make your life easier. :) GAPS guide recommends doing full GAPS first and then "backing in" to Intro. It gives you time to learn it all. Take your time and read about it. You can make small changes and head the right direction, a little at a time. I read about it for a year before starting last month!

Superfood Muffins

I made a recipe from Grain Free Meal Plans called Superfood Muffins this weekend. Basically, they are individual meatloaves cooked in a muffin tin. Cute, right? The kicker is what's in them - liver! I did mine with a pound of liver, a pound of ground lamb and a pound of ground beef. Add some spices, a little broth (instead of tomato for us, for now), and lots of garlic, run through the food processor, bake in muffin tin for 30 minutes. These were a huge hit. Hannah and Audrey ate 2 1/2 of them each!!! I knew there was liver in them and couldn't taste it, especially with some homemade lacto-fermented ketchup. :)


I felt awful this week. Tons of stomach/digestion stuff. Totally miserable. And I wasn't doing anything different. I kept experimenting with the HCL - too much? Too little? Different kind? Then, as I was processing this with Nick last night, he said, "Could it be the almond butter?" We bought almond butter at Whole Foods the past couple of weeks, their freshly ground stuff. So, I'm at about 18 hours without almond butter and...I feel great. On the one hand I'm mad about how many days I'm been miserable for something that stupid. On the other hand, I am so happy to feel good today! I'm debating about whether to try the Maranatha brand almond butter that had been working for me, or to just leave it out and do the "real" stage one and two and try to get egg and ghee working for me. If I can feel ok without it, since Tess even skipped her morning nursing today (hopefully taking us easily down to 2x's a day), I will probably leave it out for the time being. I wish I had a way to make my own almond butter with soaked nuts. I tried the food processor I have and got almond flour, to which I added coconut oil...which just isn't very good. But I digress...

Nick is feeling terrific. There's just nothing more to say about this. He keeps saying he has never felt so good. I love that. :)

Hannah has been struggling some this week too, it could be the almond butter for her as well? She started having potty accidents fairly regularly again, after weeks without them. I'm really trying not to be discouraged about this. I think there's a pretty good chance it's die-off/toxin release for her. So we press forward.

Audrey is still eating everything in sight, but seems to be getting satisfied maybe a little quicker than before. Actually, all of us seem to be eating less this week, for which I (and our budget) am grateful. Her legs are very sore with eczema and she's had several difficult nights recently. I received our No-Fenol yesterday, and gave her some with dinner. She did not scratch last night. This will require further testing, but the only night this week that she was not miserable was last night. If this works, it will be the most amazing thing.

Tess continues to do great with GAPS. She is teething again I think and had a very fussy day yesterday, but a dose of homeopathic teething remedy this morning seemed to do the trick. She is so sweet!

I won a 9-tray Excalibur dehydrator 3900 on Ebay last night for about half price. I am very excited about that. No more worrying about burning nuts and seeds (not to mention killing all the enzymes since the lowest temp on my oven is 170), and when we get fruits added I'll be able to make all kinds of treats for the kids.

We have lots of leftovers in the fridge today, so I'm looking forward to a light cooking day.

Friday, March 18, 2011


This is sure an interesting journey...

We hit our one-month GAPS anniversary this weekend. It has really gone fairly fast. Here's where we are:

Bad news first:

Cons - I am still struggling with my stomach. HCL seems to irritate my stomach some, but I don't seem to make enough of my own yet, which lead to reflux stuff and maldigestion. Adding probiotic foods like sauerkraut juice seems to help, and it's better than it was, but still a ways to go. I've been making coconut milk kefir and I LOVE it. GAPS says to intro kefir slowly because of die off, so I have been going slow - up to about 2 oz at a time, but it tastes so good to me. It's really very sour. My taste buds have acclimated to fermented flavors, I guess!

I have not been able to intro eggs or ghee, and both times I tried I had lots of stomach pain and saw stars all day. I wish I knew what triggered the seeing stars. I always used to have it when I had soy. I will probably try them for the kids again here soon, but it's difficult for me to have different family members on different foods because then I have to make multiple meals.

Audrey's legs are pretty sore from reintroducing salicylates. I read about an enzyme called No-Fenol that is supposed to help people like her digest them better, so I ordered her some. Should be here tomorrow or Monday. I'm interested to see how it helps.

Still having the occasional emotional wrestling match with the older kids over drinking their broth or eating meals that aren't their favorite. These seem to come out of no where and they are super frustrating to me at times. Not sure why for one meal they will do what they need to do, and the next meal is hard again. But, Hannah discovered this morning that putting broth into a sippy cup and watching a movie while she drinks it is much easier for her. Hallelujah.

The prep is exhausting. I am in the kitchen A LOT. I like to cook, but this is...a lot. Nick has been helping with the dishes, and he is a continual source of encouragement, but I don't know how I'd do it without him.

Audrey, who used to have trouble chewing meat and would cry at dinner almost every night, is eating EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. She had third helpings of shepherd's pie (topped with mashed cauliflower - you'd never know it wasn't potatoes) at dinner tonight. This is flat out incredible.

Hannah's chronic stuffy nose and continual potty accidents are gone. Nose is clear, no problems with bladder or BM control (unless she eats too much almond butter like she did yesterday. Oops.) This is also incredible.

Nick says he feels better than he has in years.

Though we are off fruits (for now) and grains, we can suddenly use so many spices and veggies that we've been doing without for years...this doesn't feel restricted to me. I'm really pretty satisfied with meat, veggies, broth, nuts, tiny amounts of honey and fresh juices. I don't crave sugar and we feel full faster and faster. At first we were going through 2 lbs of meat each meal. Tonight we ate half that!

We are on a waiting list for raw goat's milk to make yogurt with. I really, really hope we can handle it when our name comes up. Surely with the 24 hour fermenting time (which is said to remove all the lactose), we'll do well on it. I hope.

I signed up for grain-free meal plans. I'm probably using 60-70% of them. All the recipes are SO nice to have. I'm able to pick things that sound good to us, mix them with other things I pick up at Gnowfglins or from GAPS or GAPS Guide or Internal Bliss, and I feel like I suddenly have a plethora of ideas for dinners. It's been nice to some ways - got me out of the rut I was in of making the same 5 or 6 meals. Of course, some of that was our food limitations!

Overall I am very pleased with our progress. I was probably in the worst shape, so it will probably take me the longest to heal. But we're most certainly on the right track!

Saturday, March 12, 2011


Today I'm rendering tallow. What's the matter? Never occurred to you to render tallow for fun on your Saturday? Boy, are you missing out. ;)

The biggest issue we are now having is keeping the children FED. They are drinking their broth (occasionally with complaint, but they're doing it), they are eating everything I put on the table for meals and then some, they are hungry an hour later, and they are so thrilled with every new recipe I try that they tell me I should make it for dinner every night. We have had three peaceful dinners in a row, with no crying, no complaining, no wallowing in chairs, just quiet, exciting EATING. Um, wow.

I added 2 tsp of egg to each cup of our broth this morning, and so far there have been no negative effects. We have more or less been off egg for I think 4 years. The suggested way to introduce these types of foods goes like this:

day one: add 1 tsp to broth
day two: avoid the food
day three: add 2 tsp to broth
day four: avoid the food
day five: use freely, if there's been no reaction

The first time we tried egg (a whole yolk), it gave all of us diarrhea, so I did 1/2 tsp first, 1 tsp next, and 2 tsp today, with a day in between. No diarrhea so far! I am so hopeful we can get this to work. It will make a huge difference in the variety of foods we can make.

We are going to try a bit of cooked apple/applesauce today. We've been totally off fruit for nearly three weeks. We're pretty excited. :)

I've been slowly adding salicylates and citrus back to our diet. Last night's honey lemon chicken would have been a big no-no. And Audrey did itch some, but according to the GAPS book, that is a natural reaction to toxins being carried out of the body, and avoiding the reaction, while maybe more comfortable in the short-term, isn't necessarily helpful. I have to say, MAN is it good to use a little cumin, lemon, honey, bell pepper, apple, etc. again. It's been a long couple years.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Salicylates and healing

In fall of 2009, Hannah and Audrey muscle tested for sensitivity to salicylates. If you aren't familiar with this particular food chemical, it's in pretty much everything. Berries, spices, apples, peppers, tomatoes, almonds, potatoes...the list goes on and on. At the time, Audrey was covered with horrible eczema and Hannah was having multiple accidents a day at 4 1/2 years old. We were pretty desperate to try whatever we had to try. And so this became a way of life. There was this random list of foods that we just didn't touch (along with all the other biggies like gluten, dairy, soy, corn...) And since I didn't want to make multiple meals, we all pretty much ate that way.

Things improved enough to keep me motivated to avoid those foods. Hannah would have accidents for two days after eating too many salicylate foods. Audrey would have an instant scratching attack. It was hard, but what choice did we have?

So here we are, a year and a half later. Their health never got much better than shortly after going off all those foods, which was mediocre at best, but I felt trapped. If they were sensitive to those foods, I didn't want to feed them something that would make them sick.

When I read the GAPS book, I was interested to see that she addresses salicylate sensitivity (and the even more intense phenol sensitivity, which I suspect Audrey tended toward as well). Her take is that avoiding all those foods, while it may alleviate symptoms like eczema, in the long run causes other problems. You end up cutting out so many foods that you end up with nutrient deficiency. Essentially, you are reacting to the antioxidants in those foods, the very nutrients that also carry toxins out of the body, sometimes through the skin which results in eczema.

It would be easy to feel guilty about all of this. After all, I kind of became "that mom," the one who wouldn't let her kids eat anything because of how they would react. I never wanted to get like that. But when your three year old is covered in scabs from head to toe, you tend to do extreme things that you normally wouldn't. We felt we had no way out. These experiences are the source of my determination to do GAPS.

Based on the advice in the GAPS book, I am slowly reintroducing things we have not eaten in literally a year and half. I added black pepper and paprika to our homemade breakfast sausage that I am poaching in broth in the morning. I added whole peppercorns to my meat stock this afternoon. I put some small pieces of red bell pepper in our turkey vegetable soup last night. It feels...really strange. I have been in protection mode for so long, trying to keep those "evil" foods that caused my kids to be sick, out of our diet. And yet those foods we have avoided probably hold the very nutrients we need most right now.

Thus far, Hannah has had no noticeable reactions, and seems to perk up when I tell her she's eating something she couldn't have before. Audrey has been scratching some, but it's minor and she hasn't broken the skin. I'm feeling heavy-hearted about this whole thing today, but determined to trust God's guidance on this path.

Saturday, March 5, 2011


Had a quiet moment after bedtime while Nick prepares for worship team in the morning, so I thought I'd write.

Audrey is amazing us with her improvement already. It is obvious this is something she's been needing. She happily sat at the dinner table and ate her soup tonight! It had tons of different veggies, and she actually used her spoon and ate about half of what I gave her without a single complaint. I'm amazed, really. She has been my picky eater since she was 2. She's now finishing more food than Hannah, before Hannah is finished, with a terrific attitude. Incredible, already.

Hannah is struggling more. We have suspected some sort of fungal or bacterial problem in her gut for awhile (based on things I have read about her specific symptoms), and die-off reactions for her have been hard. She seems depressed. When I told her tonight we were having soup for dinner, she cried. Then she picked up her doll, went upstairs, put on her pajamas and put herself to bed at like 6pm. Nick went upstairs and asked her if she wanted to eat dinner and play a game together afterward and she woke up, but she was still pretty sad through dinner. She regularly tells me, "Why do you have to make this so hard?" Pretty tough. I know we will sooner or later see some breakthrough with her. I sure hope it's sooner.

I received the Gaps Guide book and a GAPS recipe book in the mail today, and though they will be terribly helpful to have, they do not, as I hoped, offer any quicker way to healing. The only way to start adding in foods is to hang out until your system heals. For us, that is currently at intro stage two. The girls and I seem to tolerate some almond butter, but ghee and egg are a no for now. Even avocado seems to cause some gas in all of us - something we had been eating several times a week, even every day. No wonder we haven't been feeling good!

Honestly, it's a little hard to wait for healing, but this experience is also rather freeing to me. I fall back to the way I felt when I learned I needed to be gluten free. I finally know what I need to do to feel good. Who cares what I can't eat? I can actually function! That really is the way I'm feeling about it. As soon as we have a little money I want to buy some Thermoses so we can bring our soup with us when we go out. That will give us a little more freedom than we currently have. We live 20 minutes from town, so by the time we drive into town to do something, we're hungry again. It's hard to bring this kind of food with you without a Thermos. I'm looking forward to the day when my die-off reaction stops and I get to feel like myself again. And in the meantime, I get to eat this warm, nourishing, simple, comforting food.

I kept looking around me at our children today, at Tess as she slept in my arms this afternoon, and getting teary. I love our kids so much, and we finally have hope again.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Focus Shift

One of the things that kept me from doing GAPS for the past year, is that I didn't want our life to get centered around food. Food is a means to an end, not something life should center around. I think it's great to enjoy food, to eat things that taste good, and to eat food that nourishes your body - whatever that means for you. But it is so easy for me to become obsessed with it. And then I start seeing that same obsession in my kids.

The past few years have been a hard road food-wise. But a conversation with our kids last night left me in awe of how much we have been focused on food as a family. This is hard to explain. Basically, my kids expressed that they think about food constantly, and that it's distracting to them even when they're trying to play. They worry about it constantly. And I can't help but think this is a reflection on Nick and me and the way we treat food.

So...all that to say, we're still doing GAPS, but I thought I would want to spend lots of time updating this blog and sharing our experience. I'm realizing that's not a good use of my time. If you're curious about how we're doing I'd love to chat about it. And I'll still post updates, but not every day. Ultimately, my goal with this silly diet is to spend LESS time thinking about food. As little as we can get away with. There is so much more to life, so many other interesting things to think about and do. I enjoy cooking, but I don't want to spend my whole life doing that. I have three children who need my attention, and I also have other things God has called me to do with my life.

So there it is, my rambling, somewhat brain foggy explanation of what I'm thinking. :)

That said, our juicer, GAPS Guide, and Internal Bliss cookbook arrive today. :)

Candida Test

Ever wondered if candida overgrowth might be affecting your health? Here's a pretty interesting test to see. And...I'm not gonna say what my score was. Let's just say I need to be doing GAPS. ;)

Thursday, March 3, 2011


Certain things are getting easier, thank goodness! The kids are eating easier, and I'm adjusting to the differences in cooking. I have about three loads of dishes a day when I keep up with it. The prep time is similar to what I had been doing - lots of time in the kitchen. For the first time since we got married, we moved the only working microwave out to the garage last week. That way I'm not tempted to use it even for the couple times a week that I was!

Today I got so tired mid-morning. It took everything I had to put Tess to bed, and I went and got in my bed and fell asleep. Hannah and Audrey came in there with me. They didn't know quite what to think. It's got to be die off because right before that I had some coconut kefir and was feeling ok, then it hit me. I just feel like I could sleep around the clock. I'm very weak and sleepy and foggy.

Hannah keeps telling me her stomach hurts and her throat is itchy. It's been about four days of that.

Audrey has had a boil of some kind on her ankle. It's been there several weeks, but it's suddenly coming to the surface. I don't know if something got into it while her skin was sore, or if she got bit by something, or if it's some sort of toxin release. One great thing is that she's been able to eat the past couple of days. She has beaten Hannah at finishing the past two nights. That has never happened in her life. Her stomach acid must be improving. Nick and I have needed less HCL the past two days too.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

His Mercies are New...

Aren't you glad that His mercies are new every morning? No matter how tired and discouraged you are at night, things always look just a bit better in the morning.

I woke up feeling good, no trace of stomach pain. Tess is still having diarrhea. We had an easy breakfast of beef sausage poached in broth, acorn squash and broth to drink. The kids seem to be adjusting some. There were complaints about the broth this morning (mostly related to the fat that accumulates on the top), but they both drank it all and both got a "cookie." (Made from almond flour, almond butter, coconut oil and salt, nothing else). These are crumbly and not even sweet, but for some reason they motivate the girls right now. Day one with no fruit.

We are going to get out in the nice warm weather today and think about something other than food. Should make the day easier. Part of the issue yesterday is Nick had to teach guitar all evening so we were on our own almost until bedtime - very long day for all of us. Today will be much better!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


Me: took the intro of either avocado or nuts too quickly and have a terrible stomach ache tonight. I put away the rest of the dried fruit tonight and we're starting this for real in the morning. I'm not exaggerating: if I can just feel good, I will eat nothing but soup for the rest of my life. I am that tired of feeling sick. I am going to do this for real.

Hannah: hasn't had a BM for 2-3 days. According to the book, it's time to pull out the enema kit. Um...yeah. I don't feel prepared for that at all. She is always on the other end of that spectrum, so I know it's working. Constipation means die off usually. I'm hoping she'll just go tomorrow.

Audrey: cried all day. And I do mean ALL DAY. I don't know what else to say about that.

Tess: diarrhea day two. Tonight I fed her only ground chicken mixed with broth. I'll do that until it calms down.

I called my mom and brainstormed with her for quite awhile this afternoon. She's helping me buy the Gaps Guide and a cookbook called Internal Bliss. They should be here by the weekend. Need some recipes and help troubleshooting to do this well.

Pretty fried tonight. I keep hoping this will start going a little smoother. I think we're on to something, I just need to hang on.

Eggs with a side of whine

I'm feeling cranky today, just thought I'd warn ya.

Why are things so hard for us to digest, eggs being a big one? They seem so simple, so natural. People have been eating eggs for thousands of years. I'm able to get the best eggs available - the chickens can roam around and eat bugs, they aren't fed soy. And still, it hurt my stomach SO badly when I tried egg yolk the other day.

I am fairly convinced that my issue yesterday was the ground flax I added to the pancakes to...substitute for egg. I'm trying gelatin as a substitute in a pancake recipe today, but the problem is that most people on this diet make recipes using lots of eggs because they are a source of protein, and it gets them out of having to eat soup AGAIN. Loads of gelatin in a recipe is just not going to taste good.

Nick has been fine with egg all along, and is able to scramble eggs for himself in the mornings. I need to try Audrey on them because I think she may do ok, but she had diarrhea this morning, I suspect from the flax. So that's a project for another day.

The thing that has always kept me away from doing this diet in the first place, is the tendency of people on it to become so obsessed, so dominated by thoughts of food. Food is not enough of a reason for me to get up in the morning. Certainly not simple food like this, and yet you become tied to it because of the learning curve, and because when you eat simply you are hungry often.

I gotta go think about something else.